Module 3 (Section 2) – Preparing for Real World Training

First, ask: “Is my Child too deeply in his.her Own World for me to reach?”

(Ask “Is he.she is Numbed and Recovering from the World’ stresses, or perhaps he.she is too Self-Absorbed, to be reached?”)
With an activity like computer-game playing, the answer is “probably he.she is currently too Self-Absorbed, to be reached”.
But, if you pick your time, waiting till the computer-game has been played for a while and your youngster is less-deeply involved, but not too tired to notice you, then you will be in with a chance.

Join in: to be Noticed; to be Trusted; and to encourage your Child’s Confidence.

Quietly sit nearby for a while, then slowly involve yourself in the computer-game. Start quietly with only a few single-word observations, then if you feel you are not being shut out, make more frequent comments, perhaps a bit more loudly and excitedly, hoping always to get some reciprocation.

(You might try for some eye-contact if your loved one is ‘Visually-OK’. Or you might get a High-Five after a computer-game success if he.she is not Touch-sensitive. Or perhaps sing a jingle of success if he.she likes music, and so forth.)

If your Child (let’s call him-and-her Jess) turns away, then you MUST disengage, because we always aim for positive associations, not forceful ones.

Hopefully you have set some groundwork for a future time, so your involvement will be more tolerated by Jess next time.

We are in this for the long-haul – time is on our side!

Module 5: Start Relaxing Training

It is not too early at this point to start Teaching Rest-Techniques. Why now? To help Jess get out of his or her “over-stimulated tension spiral”.

If you have been at least partly-accepted by Jess at this point, now take a more prominent role.
Make yourself noticed by exaggerating your exhaustion, take deep breaths, make appropriate “Whew!” exclamations.
Take 5 deep breaths with pantomime emphasis
Then say “5 breaths now”, and hold up a new finger with each breath taken. Maybe with Jess’ attention on your hand, like a magician you can turn over/twist away the computer device..!

Reinforce by saying things like “Resting is good”, with a big smile of relief on your face and maybe act-out a floppy body.

Maybe add more Relaxing techniques; a head-massage, hand-squeeze, piggyback, whatever Jess likes the best

(keep checking for response to ensure you are still helping Jess relax)

Module 4- Real World Training

Once you have successfully reached your Child via Module 3, now play your “Real World” Game (that is, an Interactive Game)

Re-enact a part of the computer-game, eg if it was a racing car game, you could use a toy car. Possibly you could both hold the toy, maybe making car noises from the computer-game.

You might show some play-variations, lifting the car up, saying “Up!”, then “Steep hill down!”, while encouraging Jess to direct the play – “You want up? Say UP!” (demonstrate the car going up). If Jess tolerates physical play, maybe head the car towards him.her, “Look out for the car!”

“Here it comes!” “You say “Stop Car!” ” “Well done, it has suddenly stopped!” or if no word comes from Jess, “Look out then, its going to crash!” Gently crash the car into him.her with dramatic crash sounds, maybe that turns into a tickle-Game, “Crash car again? You say “Crash!” (etc).

As promised, here is a video-link about Game-Playing, and how we can draw-out Responses from our Kids, so the Game keeps going:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzP7BAmMpCk  from “the Play Project”

Presently I cannot find the Son Rise video where the Trainer got a first word: “Dinosaur” from the Child, by playing a Dinosaur Game with him. I will keep looking for it, and will add the link here when I find it.

Module 5: Even More Relaxing

Encourage even more Relaxing practice if possible.
This more firmly entrenches the Relaxing step in Jess’ mind

You can offer further Relax-rewards, e.g. your calm voice in praise, recalling the fun of your interactive Game. “we had fun playing cars and tickling, l liked to tickle you and you laughed” to reinforce the memory of the Fun.

Other rewards like aromatherapy may be possible, gentle music, even a small food reward, but above all stay with Jess, probably not saying much any more, but you will be building Trust and Companionship.

NOTES: How deliberate all this seems! How researched, in fact how “non-spontaneous” it will all feel to you, when you first try it…

Yet you are a Trainer now too. Remember that like you, professional teachers also make up deliberate lesson-plans.

You will find that with practice your ‘Lesson Plans’ will need less planning and rehearsal over time, you will be able to ‘wing it’ more easily as your Parent-Power increases..!

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